✓ Junkyard Druid pdf ✪ Author M.D. Massey – 1sm.info

Junkyard Druid Holy sh tballs Batmanokay Okay OKAY I FRICKEN LOVED THIS BOOK I love Colin and his pragmatic outlook on life and all things spooky I love Bella and her badass self I really hope something happens there I love Jesse and also hate her situation I want to knowand seeabout the whole Junkyard Druid thing Obviously something had to happen for him to be called that It s a great moniker This is a terrible review, I know But I needed to tell someone about how much I enjoyed th Holy sh tballs Batmanokay Okay OKAY I FRICKEN LOVED THIS BOOK I love Colin and his pragmatic outlook on life and all things spooky I love Bella and her badass self I really hope something happens there I love Jesse and also hate her situation I want to knowand seeabout the whole Junkyard Druid thing Obviously something had to happen for him to be called that It s a great moniker This is a terrible review, I know But I needed to tell someone about how much I enjoyed this without going into weird tangents soooo, here Oops Y all should totally pick up this book if you enjoy the Iron Druid series, the Mercy Thompson series, and books of that ilk Highly recommend Two thumbs WAY WAY up I couldn t get past the first few chapters, this book reads like it was written by a middle school child trying to sound like an adult The dialogue was atrocious, the characters were less than one dimensional the plot was stereotypical except it s been done better in other books. To say that this was disappointing is an understatement The preface states that the author wanted to get away from YA novels and do somethingadult, except he doesn t seem to achieve this The story line felt over simplistic and childish Throwing a few swear words and references to sex into a novel does not make it adult The main character lacked depth and his tragedy had me wishing he had died When you compare it to other urban fantasy, which is hard not to, it clearly does not s To say that this was disappointing is an understatement The preface states that the author wanted to get away from YA novels and do somethingadult, except he doesn t seem to achieve this The story line felt over simplistic and childish Throwing a few swear words and references to sex into a novel does not make it adult The main character lacked depth and his tragedy had me wishing he had died When you compare it to other urban fantasy, which is hard not to, it clearly does not stack up If you are looking for a druid series to start, I would avoid this and go for The Iron Druid Chronicles, it s written better and hasinteresting characters Bubble Gum Druid and his magical Mary Poppins bag This was cutesy , but it was still a fun readHere s the thing about writing a druid book.you got to have druid things Not until 71% do I finally get a bit of druid mojo The story has a wonderful abundance of fae creatures I really like Hemi the Maori and his haka danceJunkyard Druidwas an enjoyable read Massey s writing had an easy flow to it and very entertaining If anything, it s the humor that kept me engaged and will b Bubble Gum Druid and his magical Mary Poppins bag This was cutesy , but it was still a fun readHere s the thing about writing a druid book.you got to have druid things Not until 71% do I finally get a bit of druid mojo The story has a wonderful abundance of fae creatures I really like Hemi the Maori and his haka danceJunkyard Druidwas an enjoyable read Massey s writing had an easy flow to it and very entertaining If anything, it s the humor that kept me engaged and will bring me back for With a dash of Odd Thomas and a pinch of Dresden Files, Junkyard Druid is just my type of urban fantasy series Throw in a splash of Constantine, and we re cookin with gas And don t get me started on the hero, Colin McCool He s my kind of Druid sharp witted, sweet and a little bit dangerous.Junkyard Druid is the perfect brew to quench any urban fantasy lover s thirst OK, it s really hard not to read any urban fantasy about modern day druidry and not think about Kevin Hearne and the Iron Druid Series, and no one is going to come off favorably in that comparison However, it s not a bad series, and they do get betteras he goes along and seems to findof his own voice Definitely worth reading from a brain candy perspective, and there are some twists that even I didn t expect. This was abysmal Such a pity, I had so many expectations for this book HERE BE SPOILERS1% The book starts with a preface by the author basically flailing about how he wanted to write about an urban fantasy druid and he had this amazing idea but he s a piece of shit and never finishing anything he writes Being a piece of shit who also never finishes what she writes I sympathized Then he goes on about how DAMMIT WOE IS ME WHEN I GOT OFF MY ASS KEVIN HEARNE WAS SUDDENLY OUT THERE WRITING ABO This was abysmal Such a pity, I had so many expectations for this book HERE BE SPOILERS1% The book starts with a preface by the author basically flailing about how he wanted to write about an urban fantasy druid and he had this amazing idea but he s a piece of shit and never finishing anything he writes Being a piece of shit who also never finishes what she writes I sympathized Then he goes on about how DAMMIT WOE IS ME WHEN I GOT OFF MY ASS KEVIN HEARNE WAS SUDDENLY OUT THERE WRITING ABOUT A DRUID pause to say he s not salty he read it and found it excellent, cue me squinting Cue his decision to write about this druid as YAlit and FOLLOWED BY HOW MUCH HE HATES WRITING YALIT AND HOW HE WANTED TO WRITE DARKER GRITTIER STUFF newsflash you don t have to be darkgritty to write UF see the aforementioned Kevin Hearne Then plugs his other series like 4 timesand then says that Colin wrote himself into that story and readers wantedColin so he wrote this book The druid is named McCool Given how often Massey likes to use the word cool while writing I m calling Awesome McCoolname like come on dude there s even a trope about it4% Oodles of male gaze and Manpain 16 minutes in There s almost a page describing his girlfriend Jesse and how she s the love of his life and how he s planning to tell her he loves her and show her the key to a flat to move in together and all the standard genre things of curves and athletic muscle and shitAnd then that was when my life turned to shit Boom dead spunky girlfriendSeriously Mr McCool I don t know either you or your gf enough to give a shit Hopes still up even though rapidly diminishing Please don t disappoint me I was so hopeful6% What the fuckin sort of shit therapist would ever say Not a single soul has the right to blame you for not wanting to go on Wtf7% journal entry 8 months 3days a.j after Jesse Kill me All the chapters begin like this from here on16% Describing his fae or half fae friend, Sabine sorry I am literally ready to chuck the book so I wasn t paying exact attention to her species16% This is really disjointed in writing It goes from a promising scene to awkward high school fanfic level Also there s a bit where he s trying to prove he s not a chauve and it s way too awkward17% I swear to GOD I am going to buy this book so I can set it on fire20% Where I stop giving fucks about percentages or where I am in this book and only wish I can set it on fireHere we have this bar that is a supernatural hangout where I go bc they have very cool cold brew even though I want to avoid the supernatural like the plague I also regularly hang out with a half fae who probably fancies him and two vampires, one of which is hitting on me p badly DID I MENTION IT S AN LGBTQ HAVEN AS WELL ARE YOU READING THIS TUMBLR THIS IS HELLA REPRESENTATION EVEN IF I STEREOTYpED THE FUCK OUT OF THIS GAY MAN I PUT IN CALLING EVERYONE SUGAR AND HONEY I M ACCEPTING LOOK AT ME EVERY WOMAN WE VE MET SO FAR IS A HOLE FOR COLIN MCCOOL.Then Colin McNotCool refers to the LGBTQ community as alternate lifestyles.Yeah.SampleLuther was a vampire and the de facto leader of the vampires in Austin He was also a fixture in the local LGBTQ community so La creme was pretty much a place where everyone was welcome to hang out And like a lot of older Vamps, he might have swung either way depending on what century it was Most old Vamps like to try new things which meant a lot of older bands were pretty accepting of so called alternate lifestyles society in Austin.Luther had become heavily involved in the gay and lesbian community in the last several decades And just why would a 300 year old vampire choose to blend in among the LGBTQ communityHere it would have been sufficient to say Luther s gay.BUT NOPE Mr Massey instead of just telling us why, he s quoting Luther, probably to increase his word count Well to put it in Luther s words Nobody screws with the Velvet Mafia, no one I m a gay black man and a vampire That gives me a lot of enemies but for the first time in history I can live a public life and not have to worry about being singled out for being gay or found out for being a vamp So hooray for strength in numbersYEAH Redundant Paras R Us Then the other vamp who s been hitting on Colin turns to Luther andYou sure you don t swing head around every now and again, babe He looked her up and down and gave his best Mae West grin Not in the last hundred years or so but in your case I might be tempted sweet thangSooooo not only Luther s at least bisexual, it s obvious Mr Massey has the idea that all gay men talk like an Alabaman grandma.Then, Colin decides to go to his classes and whatnot where he meets Sabine There we are told, not shown, that his friend Sabine has agoraphobia and social anxiety however Sabine not only had been waiting for him alone in a crowded classroom but also proceeds to face down a bitchy fae with snark worthy of Chandler BingThe book keeps being uninteresting and gross at points And then we have this, about Queen Maeve Fae Like Martha Stewart in her pre prison days, Maeve s glamour had been designed to radiate a subtle vibe of the ultimate milf to most humans she seemed simultaneously sexual and motherly A combination that few men can resist There are several gems like that throughout the book Mr Massey obviously assumed that making the McCool books grittier and darker meant he had to include lots of juvenile jokes about sex, sex mentions, and mea culpa to put even a very known Chicago Wizard to shame.For examplesomething something I didn t want to deal with those Circle jerks Circle jerks, hah, see what I did there Yes, Colin, I saw I m trying to pretend i didn t.There was a also bit like dad had learned not to enter into the bathroom without knocking after he walked in on me I know gross, but everyone s doing it a I would have felt better about this sentence if he had ended it at walked in b If you think a natural process that most creatures engage in is gross then idk what to tell you c I didn t need to know thatThere are severalexamples of why this book is definitely something to avoid but I hope those points above, along with the childish plot, the cardboard characters, and the minimal to zero worldbuilding, are enough 0 10 Rating I haven t ranted like that about a book since the Iron Fey I absolutely adored this book, i was unaware about this author before i read this book and i voluntarily reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book and i am so unbelievably glad that i did I will definately be following this authors work from now on.The storyline of this book was extremely unexpected and definately a surprise, it was not what i thought it was going to be, the surprise was definately a good one The storyline is such an addictive and compelling read, you will definately find I absolutely adored this book, i was unaware about this author before i read this book and i voluntarily reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book and i am so unbelievably glad that i did I will definately be following this authors work from now on.The storyline of this book was extremely unexpected and definately a surprise, it was not what i thought it was going to be, the surprise was definately a good one The storyline is such an addictive and compelling read, you will definately find yourself keeping on turning pages just to find out what happens next There is so much that goes on in this book but it doesnt feel like its rushed or that there is too much going on, it makes sense the way it is written The one thing i have to mention that i loved about the book is how the story of the past is written through a journal, it written this way tells the story of the past and why the characters are the way they are and it doesnt feel confusing at all I cant explain how much i loved this story, there are twists and turns throughout as well as pain, healing and love You feel all the emotions of the characters and to me that shows an amazing writer to make you feel the emotions alongside them.Colin is a brilliant character, he is extremely complex and that is due to everything he has been through and the world around that he trained for A lot of him is filled with pain, guilt and regret but he is trying to heal himself He is a very realistic and human character in his hopes and fears and i think that makes me a reader like him evenThere are quite a lot of characters in this book and i loved every one, they each had completely unique characters, i don t want to mention anyas i don t want to spoil this story for anyone.This is an amazing world class book that is a definite must read for everyone I honestly cant rate this high enough I absolutely loved and adored this ASIN BMQTJ Has Been Moved To The Latest Kindle Edition, As Per GuidelinesA Cursed Druid, Blackmailed By A Faery Queen To Find A Missing Magic Rock Let S Just Hope They Don T Hack The Druid Off For Everyone S SakeName S Colin McCool Folks Call Me The Junkyard Druid I Hate That NameDespite My Last Name, I M Not Cool Like The Other Hunters In Town I Don T Run An Occult Bookstore, I Ve Never Owned A Harley, And I Didn T Inherit A Family Fortune Passed Down Through Generations Of Hunters Before MeAnd I Kind Of Have This Curse On Me That S Messed Up My LifeSo, Things Have Gone To Hell Since I Was Cursed I Live In A Junkyard, My Mentor Finn Is A Heroin Addict, I Ve Got The Cold Iron Circle Breathing Down My Neck, And The Local Fae Queen Maeve Is Blackmailing Me Into Doing Her Dirty WorkNow I M In Way Over My Head Trying To Retrieve Maeve S Stolen Magic Rock, All While Helping My Friend Belladonna Solve A Series Of Murders That May Or May Not Involve The Local WerewolvesAnd Did I Mention That My Girlfriend Is A Ghost If I Can Just Get The Faery Queen S Tathlum Back, And Help Belladonna Solve The MurdersThen I Just Might Live Long Enough To Finish My First Year Of College I wanted to drop this I should ve dropped this Why This book has got to be one of the worst things I have ever read I ve read better stories up on Wattpad.I really felt lied to, based on the blurb and cover and title I really thought this was some semi original story that has been hiding in the fringes of the urban fantasy market and was going to be really enjoyable I was hoping that it was really enjoyable.I was wrong And here are all the reasons I found this to be an unenjoyable book.It I wanted to drop this I should ve dropped this Why This book has got to be one of the worst things I have ever read I ve read better stories up on Wattpad.I really felt lied to, based on the blurb and cover and title I really thought this was some semi original story that has been hiding in the fringes of the urban fantasy market and was going to be really enjoyable I was hoping that it was really enjoyable.I was wrong And here are all the reasons I found this to be an unenjoyable book.It was plenty repetitive, to the point that it wasn t just annoying but it was patronising On that note, this whole book felt like I was being mansplained on what the magic world is, what magic beings are, and just everything in general It was all tell, no show Literally everything was just told to the reader, nothing was explained or described For that reason, it wasn t exciting I was so so bored It was a very slow progressing plot where barely anything happened, or it just felt that way because everything was told and none of the characters emotions were outlined and the stakes weren t established There was no rising action Everything just missed the mark of making an emotional impact on the reader which is what you want The flow of the storyline was also disrupted by the diary entries at the beginning of each chapter I feel like if these weren t there, a lot of the space that it took up could have been used to actually build a stronger plot, to create tension, to establish stakes and raise them, to build relationships between characters and show the friction of differences The only scene that got close was the first scene between Colin and Crowley even still, it could have been a lot better For me, almost none of this book had a true reason for it occurring And it almost doesn t make sense for why, there s hardly a build up for bigger things coming And a lot of it occurs out of sheer plot convenience Now that I ve mentioned the characters, they were dull They barely had any personality I wish I could say at the very least that Colin, the main character, was whiny and annoying, but he wasn t He was barely anything, as he just moved along scene to scene, seemed to not have any desires or real motivations for doing anything If graduating from college was his desire and Maeve disrupts his plans, why not stack on his reluctance Why not go into what his motivations are for doing work for Maeve which it seemed like she already had everything figured out and didn t tell Colin it He just bends, like a piece of paper, absolutely no resistance, no friction to majority of what happens to him and what he goes through He s like a paper doll blank and doesn t reflect the true nature and complexities of human beings which all great characters do.Onto the female characters OH BOY, should ve just left them out They were hardly presented in a way that was realistically female They were written from either the perspective of someone who doesn t know women really well, or someone who is a misogynist I m serious They were all catty something that s definitely not true for all women , most of them were falling over each other to be close to Colin he was not a charming character and women do not share the same attractions most of the time , literally all of them were all overly sexualised do I even have to point out what the issue is with this one This is just naming some of the issues I had with the female characters There was a moment were one of the girls gets shaking mad, furious at some college type posters of girls in the werewolves den and it is described by the main character as her being a typical feminist Two things that annoy me 1 This reaction is not a typical feminist reaction, this is to an extent an overreaction And sure, there are some extreme feminist that would act this way, but this is not a typical one They re just posters, in a club almost exclusively filled with men, that are described as being filled with testosterone I seriously doubt that having these posters are an unexpected thing Even so, it s almost as if it s wrong for a woman to not want women to be over sexualised and drooled upon by men who treat women like meat How dare you, Belladonna don t you know that a woman s single purpose in life is to serve man Overall, I feel like a typical feminist reaction would be an eye roll, as those posters are worth an eye roll, and having this unfold in the scene added nothing to it 2 You could hear the author s eyes roll when writing this scene I m sorry, but how dickish does a person have to be with their writing where a reader can hear an eye roll Adding to this clear misogyny, there is another female character who has intense body issues Okay, yeah, that sounds like a normal issue a girl would be dealing with Body issues all because she has big boobs Sure, I can still see that This happens all the time with young girls And now this girl is putting a glamour on herself to make herself appear ugly and with a giant birds nest tangle in her hair which causes people to look at her So, you re telling me that a girl with extreme self image issues, who doesn t like or want people to look at her, gives people evenof a reason for people to look at her How in the heck does this even make sense Careful, your lack of knowledge on body image is showing Most young girls, even in college ages girls, that I ve been around who have these sorts of issues do things to HIDE themselves away, not drag attention towards themselves Seriously, having a character like this is harmful and is a sure way to alienate any young girls who could ve aligned themselves with this character There isthat I could say on the women in this book but I just can t go on any.Often one of the great things about fiction, and in particular urban and high fantasy, is that it is a reflection of our world that gives readers a safe place to see themselves in situations that they would never find themselves in usually and see how it unfolds This is one of the reasons why it is important to have a diverse cast of characters It is important for readers to see themselves reflected in what they are consuming in a positive way Does this book do that With female characters, no With race and nationalities, very barely but I wouldn t call this a pass With different body shapes, no Oh, but there is that one gay character Yeah, a token gay, who barely has any impact on the story and could have literally been written without him This is what I call insufficient representation.I seriously wish that I hadn t been motivated to finish reading this book by wanting to give it a bad review But after all the time I wasted on reading it, this was all it had to offer me


About the Author: M.D. Massey

I write urban fantasy, paranormal suspense, and dark fantasy novels My first series, THEM, is a jaunt through a post apocalyptic central Texas where the dead walk, and vampires, werewolves and other unsavory creatures roam the night It has elements of the zompoc genre, dark fantasy, and military survival fiction My goal with this series was to give readers the same excitement I get from reading books by Larry Correia, Jonathan Maberry, and J.L Bourne.On the other hand, my Colin McCool series falls squarely between urban fantasy and paranormal suspense Colin s world is full of magic, mystery, and folklore come to life I wrote this series because I love reading books by authors like Patricia Briggs, Kevin Hearne, Jim Butcher, and Neil Gaiman And, like most authors, I try to write stories that I would enjoy reading.I currently live in the Hill Country near Austin, Texas, which is where much of my fiction is set Most days you can find me in a local coffee shop or in my office working on my next book, or in my garage pummeling inanimate objects If you d like to find outabout my work and get a FREE book, visit my website at MDMassey.com.


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